1. Playing With Matches
The stars are perfectly aligning
In this moonlit sky tonight-
For the first time since these days that I felt so alive-
I finally had a chance to make this right.
It has been so long since your face resuscitated life
Into these shattered bones.
But the cigarette ashes falling to your feet
Showed me something less than beautiful.
(Shattering all dreams of you!)
Sitting and waiting for something of nothing-
Dreaming and planning for what never will be.
[Chorus]
All these wasted nights-
Fighting for a memory
Of what I'll never be.
(I will move on so I don't)
Waste another year-
Drowning in a sea of heartache
Left out in the cold.
(I will survive and save myself!)
So then this flame went out
On this torch that i’ve been carrying
And everything turned clear.
The weight lifted off of my weary, tired shoulders-
I never thought that I'd get over it so easily.
Visions of you long ago do not move me-
No more will I suffer over dreams of nothing.
(I never knew my heart would stop bleeding
Since the days I never said what I felt.
But actions speak louder than words-
I never said so I'll just go!)
[Chorus]
All these wasted nights-
Fighting for a memory
Of what I'll never be.
(I will move on so I don't)
Waste another year-
Drowning in a sea of heartache
Left out in the cold.
(I will survive and save myself!)
Frustration….
(Frustration!)
Harbored for so long-
(Harbored for so long!)
Over someone who has gone.
(Over someone who has gone!)
Shedding all of her skin
(All of her skin!)
Into the crowd-
But I will not forget.
(But I will not forget!)
I guess someday I'll see you around,
(I guess someday I'll see you around!)
But until then, goodbye dear friend…
(Goodbye!)
I guess someday I'll see you around
But until then, goodbye dear friend!
2. Story of a Beautiful Girl
Not too long ago
There was this girl I used to know-
And from her every purest breath,
The sweetest air would flow.
When she'd look up at the sky
With those big bright eyes,
The clouds would move away
And the sun would cease to fade.
Not too long ago
There was this girl I used to know-
And where there once was everything,
There’s nothing now to show.
When I look into her eyes,
The spark’s not there
(Not there)
The way it used to be.
(The way it used to be)
But it's now escaping from inside-
(Escaping from inside)
Slowly blackening her sense of pride…
[Chorus]
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
But I can't save you from yourself…
Impressionable beauty queen
Falling for the lies that they said-
But they don't care enough
‘Cause they are not your friends.
Suffocating every breath-
Slowly closing in…
Killing judgement with black clouds
Of silent poison
(Silent poison!)
I don't know if she can even cry-
(She can even cry)
Since the smoke had tarnished both her eyes…
[Chorus]
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
But I can't save you from yourself…
[Bridge]
But you wouldn't let me in-
(I can't save you…)
So I can take your pain away.
I feel so helpless now
(She’s not the same…)
‘Cause this is not the way
To die someday...
Not the same….
Not too long ago,
There was this girl I used to know-
But she’s just not the same!
(She’s just not the same!)
[Chorus]
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
It’s such a shame it had to end this way
(It’s such a shame it had to end this way)
But I can't save you from yourself…
(Not too long ago,
There was this girl I used to know-
But she’s just not the same!)
...but I can't save you from yourself...
3. Living for Yesterday
Down these winding country roads-
Past the places I used to know,
The fields are green, the dandelions have blossomed-
As did you since we have grown.
The landscape fills my empty soul-
Like the rushing water, thoughts of long ago,
When time stood still and I felt so alive-
More than I do now since I've been gone.
[Chorus]
How beautiful the sun is now,
It shines for you but not for me.
Tomorrow’s slipping all away,
Sometimes I just can't stop living for yesterday.
Across the field from where you live-
There’s the special place where we used to walk.
The leaves are dripping with the morning dew-
That fall like all these tears,
When I remember you.
This is where we used to laugh-
These memories reflect off all familiar things,
And in the wind I hear your voice
Echo through the trees,
Then fade away into the silence…
(Into the silence)
[Chorus]
How beautiful the sun is now,
It shines for you but not for me.
Tomorrow’s slipping all away,
Sometimes I just can't stop living for yesterday.
[Bridge]
Your bedroom window’s open,
(Your bedroom window’s open)
So let the light shine on your face-
(On your face)
A light that shines for only you,
While I am in this lonely place-
And I just can't let go...
[Chorus]
How beautiful the sun is now,
It shines for you but not for me.
Tomorrow’s slipping all away,
Sometimes I just can't stop living for yesterday.
4. Your Wish
As he’s overflowing from your eyes again,
I can't help but wish that I was him tonight.
So I promise not to let you down or ever let you go-
I'll hold you here until your strength returns.
And I'm afraid of this, but I will stay here anyway
‘Cause there’s nowhere else that I would rather be…
[Chorus]
And I would take your pain and put it on myself
Just to see your lovely smile again.
And I would proudly draw my last breath
If it meant you’d be alright,
‘Cause I'd so give my life for you…
And in your darkest hour, I could be your light-
One that won't go out as long as you are near.
And you'll never be alone ‘cause I am just a heart away-
I could be the hope that gets you through the night.
And I'm afraid of this, but I will stay here anyway
‘Cause there’s nowhere else that I would rather be…
[Chorus]
And I would take your pain and put it on myself
To see your lovely smile again.
And I would proudly draw my last breath
If it meant you’d be alright,
‘Cause I'd so give my life for you…
[Bridge]
(Open up your eyes, look up to the skies.)
Tonight I made a wish upon a shooting star for you.
(Stay here in my arms, I will keep you safe)
Keep holding on and I will catch you every time you fall.
But you can't see me here,
(You can't here me here)
Holding up your head and singing you to sleep.
But I will stay right here,
(I will stay right here)
‘Cause you've become the only air I need.
[Chorus]
And I would take your pain and put it on myself
Just to see your lovely smile again.
And I would proudly draw my last breath
If it meant you'd be alright,
‘Cause i’d so give my life for you…
And I would take your pain and put it on myself
Just to see your lovely smile again.
And I would proudly draw my last breath
If it meant you'd be alright,
‘Cause i’d so give my life for you…
5. The Promise
Swimming through the dark-
I saw a light near the surface.
One that warmed my freezing heart,
Changing my mind forevermore...
I will make this right-
I promise not to regret this, or run away.
But I've lived in this place,
So dark and cold for way too long
And can't escape this bitter end!
My heart has never felt so sick,
Or felt so empty since those times,
I've drifted from your course.
The only thing that’s left in here is pain,
Anger and sadness slowly eating away
At this hollow shell!
I need your comfort now
(Comfort now)
Before I fade away.
(Fade away)
[Chorus]
I'll leave it all behind,
Just give me strength
To pull myself out of this trench
Which I've fallen in.
(Which I've fallen in)
I'll pull the pin and run
From all the darkness,
As I dodge the flames
And make it out alive.
(Make it out alive)
I cannot wash this blood clean
From my hands- I'm only human,
But this time I'll take the fall in stride
And rise from everything that I've become-
Hold out your hand, I'm reaching,
And I can't stand up alone.
Don't lose your grip on me-
(Grip on me)
I will hold on…
(Will hold on)
[Chorus]
I'll leave it all behind,
Just give me strength
To pull myself out of this trench
Which I've fallen in.
(Which I've fallen in)
I'll pull the pin and run
From all the darkness,
As I dodge the flames
And make it out alive.
(Make it out alive)
This is for all the times
I came home with both hands full,
Unable to reach the door
With an empty heart!
I won't give up, not this time-
I'm still breathing and it's all thanks to you.
I won't give up, not this time-
I'm still breathing and it's all thanks to you.
6. Beautiful Affliction
The stars are falling from the sky tonight-
And I can't even catch them for you,
‘Cause they’d only burn my fingers.
And I can't sleep again tonight-
You came into another dream,
And I couldn't reach you
‘Cause I could never reach you
Now you’re out of sight-
And I am too removed
To tell you how I loved you
And everything I've dreamed
To say to you.
I'll be missing you…
You can call me crazy,
But I know you know the truth-
I know you felt it the way I felt it,
And I would give you everything.
And I'd hang on your every word-
The right one gives you all the power
To crush me into ashes,
Deeper than the deepest ocean.
Now you’re out of sight-
And I am too removed
To tell you how I loved you
And everything I've dreamed
To say to you.
I'll be missing you…
This pain is killing me
And I can hardly breathe,
(I can hardly breathe)
This pain is only self inflicted.
(This pain is only self inflicted)
You haunt my dreams
Every night since I pushed you away,
(I pushed you away)
This pain is only self inflicted.
(This pain is only self inflicted)
(You’re such a beautiful affliction)
Beautiful affliction…
[Bridge]
I must move on-
And leave behind a world I love so much,
A world I've shattered
Into pieces of endless broken dreams.
And so you’ll go-
And leave behind my memory,
Seeking shelter from the bitterness
Of what I never gave to you.
(What I never gave to you!)
There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons -
Winter Afternoons -
That oppresses, like the weight
Of Cathedral Tunes-
Heavenly Hurt, it gives us-
We can find no scar,
But internal difference -
Heavenly Hurt, it gives us-
We can find no scar,
But internal difference -
Where the Meanings, are-
None may teach it - Any -
None may teach it - Any -
'Tis the seal Despair -
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air-
When it comes, the Landscape listens-
Shadows - hold their breath-
Sent us of the Air-
When it comes, the Landscape listens-
Shadows - hold their breath-
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death-
On the look of Death-
Now you’re out of sight-
And I am too removed
To tell you how I loved you
And everything I've dreamed
To say to you.
I'll be missing you…
(I'll be missing you!)
This pain is killing me
And I can hardly breathe,
(I can hardly breathe)
This pain is only self inflicted.
(This pain is only self inflicted)
You haunt my dreams
Every night since I pushed you away,
(I pushed you away)
This pain is only self inflicted.
(This pain is only self inflicted)
(You’re such a beautiful affliction)
Beautiful affliction…
Spoken word section taken from Certain Slant of Light by Emily Dickinson.
7. Femme-Fatale's Red Carpet Massacre
Don't look now-
‘Cause everyone is watching,
You think your life is always
So dramatic.
Just don't stare
Directly at the spotlight-
Brightening an imaginary stage.
Don't forget
To wear that scarlet dress-
Make sure you’re always
Dressed to kill.
Hide behind
That fake, indignant pride-
Because that red carpet
Is so unforgiving!
You speak-
But no one cares
Or accepts your lame excuses.
Can't you see
That they are only laughing?
But every action has
A million consequences.
From which you cannot ever hide!
I thought that I was just
One of many stupid suckers.
Fueled by only lust-
But now I know that I was wrong.
I'm sorry for the pain-
They told me that my love was blind.
But who are they to know?
I swear to you,
I truly loved you!
I see it in your eyes-
You’re not the one they say you are.
A broken angel’s smile-
I see myself inside of you.
I hope you understand-
I'm sorry that I let you down.
I swear to you tonight-
I'll follow my own heart next time!
8. 5/29/07
Your smile shines just like the sun,
When I look into your eyes.
And for that single moment,
My soul is at peace.
I brush the lips of heaven,
In every kiss you give.
I need you to stay right here,
To help me want to live.
[Chorus]
Can you really see me here-
Reaching out to you?
Lying here beside you
Scared and vulnerable?
Keep me with you In this special place
Before I fade away-
‘Cause holding you right here
Is the only thing I want to feel tonight.
But I can still feel him in your soul-
Crushing every hope I have
Of being everything you need-
But I know it's not your fault…
‘Cause you can't help the way you feel,
And I can't help the way I feel-
I'm falling fast and need to know
If you'll shield me from the ground.
[Chorus]
Can you really see me here-
Reaching out to you?
Lying here beside you
Scared and vulnerable?
Keep me with you In this special place
Before I fade away-
‘Cause holding you right here
Is the only thing I want to feel...
Take my heart,
And let us forget everything.
Take my hand,
And say that you'll be my best friend.
‘Cause I hate how cold the summer feels
When you're far away.
I hate how cold the summer feels
When you're far away.
And I don't want to ever hurt again…
And I don't want to ever hurt again…
And I don't want to ever hurt again…
And I don't want to ever hurt again!!!
...I need you more than you’ll ever believe...
9. Once the Shrapnel Pierces the Heart
So this is really the end…
(As I slip into the dark!)
Although morning has broken…
(I can't seem to find the light!)
Darkness consumes my soul…
(As it crumbles right before my eyes!)
But by now you've forgotten…
(I still do it all for you!)
...so this is really the end…
What ever happened
To the songs we used to love?
To the happiness I felt
Every time I saw your smile?
(Smile)
But it has been so long-
And my heart’s been dying slowly.
I took my last breath,
But I am still not at peace.
The world was once so beautiful-
But grey consumes my sky
Without the sparkle from your emerald eyes
To pierce right through the fog…
Why did I have to dig my grave in lies?
By leaving you behind.
And throwing away my innocence
To an empty, nameless face-
And a future of despair?
I lay myself to sleep at night
Singing to your ghost,
In between these shattered dreams
Of what this could have been.
(Been!)
A happy ending
Never to begin,
So I will sing to you in silence,
So that you will never know…
I'll look up to the midnight sky
And wish on shooting stars,
For every chance to come alive-
And find my way right back into your life…
I can still remember vividly-
All of the forgotten Summers past.
And an innocence that would never last-
And I never will forget!
I'd wait forever, night and day
To see your sparkling smile again.
You are in every song I sing
So, please just know this one last thing.
I'd wait forever, night and day
To see your sparkling smile again.
You are in every song I sing
So, please just know this one last thing!
No matter where I go,
You will always be in my heart…
10. Naming Stars
We were nowhere near ready for this-
Under the priceless everglow
Of a blanket of stars shining down.
Then, the moment swept us both away-
Like a gentle breeze blowing in the night
When I held you so close, and I held you so tight.
And in the stillness of the night-
We named all the stars in the sky.
And you made me feel so alive,
I wished that peaceful moment
Would stay for all time.
Then, you said that you weren't ready for this-
Under the heavy darkness
Of rain clouds one day, pouring down.
Then you said…
That the moment overcame you
Like a beautiful phantom in the night,
When my heart stopped still-
Then began to cry.
But, I won't hold you back,
I'll just love you selflessly…
Spread your wings, and fly away from me-
I'll let go, step back, and watch you.
And overflow with gladness
To see you soar among the stars we named.
And I will smile up at you-
To feel your smile shining down on me-
Down on me…
And I'll reflect my love up at you
From down here-
And I'll be so proud of you;
That you made me feel
A love so pure.
And I’ll promise-
I'll promise not to hurt anymore...
Album Credits
Produced by Bryan Brophy and Chris Hludzik.
Recorded and engineered at Bryan Brophy’s home studio in Montdale, Pa.
All instruments performed by Bryan Brophy.
Mixed by Bryan Brophy and Chris Hludzik.
Mastered by Tom Borthwick at Sound Investment Studios.
All songs written, arranged, and performed by Bryan Brophy.
Special thanks to (in no particular order), God for giving me the special gift to do what I love, Mom, Dad, all of the very special people who have touched my life enough to inspire these songs (you may or may not know who you are), Chris Hludzik, Johnathan Hludzik, Flying Chicken Studios, Maria Lin, Tracy Summerlin, Joe from Brophy Marketing Solutions (my dad), my buds from Maybe Someday, Nate Hosie, Chris Borgna, Mike Lesnesky, Jim Reynolds, Larry-H, Dealer In Wares, The Latter-Day, Ken Brophy, Roxanne Condel, Joe Cathrall, Magdon Music, Zachary Guy from Gianetta Music, and Tom Borthwick from Sound Investment Studios.
Also, special thanks to Sheetz Coffeez, Cheez-It!, and Lionshead (for getting us through all those late night mix sessions). Lastly, I would like to personally thank all of you who have supported me, came to my shows, and bout my merch. I love you all for enabling me to do what I love to do.
© 2007 Bryan Brophy. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws. Printed in the U.S.A. Photography by Bryan Brophy. Concept and design by Bryan Brophy and Flying Chicken Studios. Track 6 includes spoken word from “Certain Slant of Light” by Emily Dickinson.
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